The Performative MBTI Couple

Happy Easter and Passover week to all who celebrate. This post is a follow-up to my previous posts on my MBTI (Myers-Briggs) type. After musing about the uncommon understanding that two of the same type can share near perfect compatibility contrary to soulmate "duals" which are actually near opposite types, and subsequently being typed by an AI model on X named Grok, I retook an online MBTI test and came up an ENFJ type. Why this is significant to me is that it matches my husband Fred's self-typing. In the past, I've typed myself an INFJ which I guess is similar enough to the "Actor" or "Teacher" type, and "Main Character" as I've seen Japanese X users refer to it. I've always seen Fred as a leading man type being the perfect frontman of every band he's formed. He's an excellent teacher and the son of two jazz musicians who were also teachers, one an assistant principal of a NYC high school and the other a lifelong music teacher at a community center. He also has had drama training in his past, and, of course, it has to be said, he's the cutest guy in the universe, and he's mine! ENFJ is probably the most perfect fit for him.

If I'm also an ENFJ, it might explain why I feel like either he's more of a rational type than I or that I'm the more emotional one. Two people of the same type probably see more differences between each other over slight differences, like the difference in male or female perspectives. We can argue over whether being opposite sexes creates a dynamic that makes one more dominant than the other, but I think our obviously different physicality, especially in strength, largely determines that. That obvious difference is why feminism exists. He seems more extroverted, too, because he's louder without trying, louder than when I belt my operatic voice, unless that's also my own perspective feeling like I need to be louder to be heard!

Aside from that, Fred and I share a musical background (both my parents sing and play instruments as do/did relatives on both sides), and I, too, have been the face of a Japanese TV show that ran for 10 years, fitting into the Actor/Teacher type. We both grew up in the boroughs of NYC during a tumultuous time in NY history when crime was at its highest point and survived. Maybe that accounts for our shared view that humanity and doing our part to make this world better is the most important value. Oh, and matcha; we both love matcha latte from Fay Da Bakery and being photographed with the cheerful spring green performative drink, but probably he more than I judging by his nonchalant expression. Cheers!